Friday, September 28, 2012

A New & Unexpected Journey

"I'm concerned that Mason might have Down Syndrome."

These were the words spoken to me the morning after our son was born.  Nothing could have prepared me for this and it was one of the most difficult things that I had ever heard.  "What makes you think so", I asked. 

The Doctor paused and began to explain what he saw--one less crease in the palm of his hands, extra skin on his neck--things I hadn't even noticed.  Without other common medical conditions present in children with Down Syndrome, he couldn't be certain until they ran a blood test, the results of which would take two weeks.

In that moment all that I was capable of was to cry and wonder.  My mind began to flood with questions right away:  What would this mean for our family?  What would Mason look like?  How would I be capable of raising a child with special needs?  Why my son?  In the midst of all of these questions, there were three things that I did know:

1. I loved my son.
2. I didn't want my son to have Down Syndrome
3. God was good and sovereign.

Bradley arrived later that morning with the girls and after spending a few minutes together as a family of five for the first time, the Doctor broke the news to Bradley.  We cried hard that night and expressed to each other our frustrations, fears, and all sorts of emotions.  Bradley went into research mode scrambling to try and understand how our lives might be different, but I couldn't.  I wasn't ready to accept it until we had the test results back.

The two weeks waiting for the results were hard.  I cried every time I nursed Mason; I cried when I thought about how our life was possibly changing; I cried wishing that it would all just go away.  I cried because I didn't want to be crying.

Finally, the results came back--the test was positive for Down Syndrome.   We left with stacks of papers full of information and with a son who, although he didn't look much different from our other children, had one extra chromosome that would change the course of his life.

Much has transpired in my heart and mind over the past five months of Mason's life.  I still have questions about Mason's future, and our future with him.  But, there are three things that I know:

1. I love my son.
2. Although I still struggle with some of the realities Mason faces, there is absolutely nothing I     would change about my son. 
3. God is good and sovereign.

Mason is a precious gift from God and we love him more and more every day, just as we do our other children.  This is a new journey we are on, one we certainly didn't expect, but God is giving us grace every day to face the unknown.

Mason's first smile caught on camera

It's taken me months to compose this post.  And, now that I've finally written it out for you, I still have much to share!  So, I thought I would write it over the month of October.  If you've been around this blog for awhile, you might remember my 31 Days series last October, 31 Days of Fall from the Kitchen.  The Nester  started the 31 series, and I decided to participate again this year.   It will have a different flavor this time, but I hope you'll stay around for it.  Come back on Monday for my series title and a little introduction.


  1. Dear Friend,
    Thank you for writing this. We are so blessed by your words during your last five months of little man's life. God has richly blessed you all with His peace and kindness. We look forward to October!
    Maryn and fam

  2. dear Lauren, my heart is full of so many emotions right now. I feel like crying with you; I also know God is so good and He is sovereign. Mason is sooo beautiful! What a blessing I know he is already and is going to be to each one of you. love you xoxo

  3. Oh Lauren,
    I can't imagine a better mommy for sweet Mason than you. And I am eager to read your next 31 posts. I'm sure I will see our Father glorified there. Praying for you and love you,

  4. Lauren,
    God has chosen you from the beginning of time to be Mason's mom. He knows all things and has good plans for you! May God's grace abound in your home as you walk the unexpected yet beautiful journey placed before you.
    much love,

  5. Mason couldn't have a more supportive family than you guys. You are such a great mom and strong woman...thanks for sharing this with us.

  6. Thank you for sharing this, Lauren! It brought tears to my eyes. It is amazing to see how faithful the Lord has been to you and your family through all of this. It's so encouraging to read this and I can't wait to read more about what God is doing in your lives!

  7. Hi Lauren! Mason is so precious! We don't always understand 'why' but we know that God is the Creator, and everything He creates is good! Ya'll are so blessed to have this precious little boy in your family! And most of all, he is blessed to be in your family! Thank you for sharing this difficult but rewarding part of your lives with us! Blessings from Bama!

  8. Thank you for glorifying God! Your light shines bright!

  9. Lauren,
    God chose YOU to be Mason's mom. HIS plan is perfect! Your love for God and your family will shine bright through what can be a difficult time in your life. We will pray for you and Bradley. Thank you for your openness.

    ~ Sarah

  10. Lauren this was beautifully written! As soon as I saw that picture of Mason's first smile the tears started because I am so thankful for this little boy and the joy he has brought into our lives - even in these 5+ months! I am excited to learn from YOU all that God teaches you as you continue to be a mother to your precious children. Love you so much!

  11. What a beautiful post. He is precious. I have a cousin with down syndrome and a sister-in-law with cerebral palsy who is very special needs. They are amazing. I believe God only blesses special people with special needs children. You'll do a great job!

  12. Mason is beautiful and his smile is beyond uplifting! Bless you all!

  13. Thanks for your honesty. Mason is too precious! I'm curious to see how the Lord continues to help and grow you through the future. I look forward to keeping up through your blog. May God continue to bless and guide you all!

  14. He is precious! Thanks for connecting with me :)


I would love to get your feedback on any post! Comments make my day, and I will do my best to get back with you as soon as I can. Thanks!