Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Seven months and my fears are lifted

When I found out I was pregnant with my fourth child I was scared.  Our son was just six months old and we were still adjusting to the fact that he had Down Syndrome.

Would this child also have some sort of special need?  How would I be able to truly care for both of them?  Surely someone is going to be neglected.  Will I love another child more or less?  

We had talked about having more children, but it was always way down the road, like after Mason learned to walk, and maybe once he was potty trained.  But here we were with a baby who still couldn't roll over at six months, and another one on the way.

That pregnancy was filled with ups and downs emotionally as I anticipated the arrival of that little girl.  There was relief when we found out all the prenatal testing came back negative.  But, then there was also guilt over feeling relieved.



When I arrived at the hospital on the day I was to be induced, they admitted me to the same room where Mason had been born.  All the memories came flooding back, and when the doctors arrived for the delivery, I made sure they knew to examine my daughter closely for any signs of anything that might not be normal.

And then that moment came when we welcomed our baby girl into the world.

It was just as wonderful and exciting as the previous three times.  We loved her with the same love, rejoiced in her precious life, and waited excitedly for the day we could bring her home.



Today our baby girl is seven months old.

 We've had seven precious months of watching another life grow and develop.  Seven months of watching our oldest girls wonder and exclaim over her.  Seven months of watching our son with Down Syndrome adore his baby sister.

My fears have been lifted.



Mason is quick to comfort Jennavieve when she cries.  He scoots himself over to her and carefully lays his head on her tummy.  He brings her toys when she has none.  They have started 'talking' to one another, copying sounds and squeals.



Yes, it's challenging having two babies who can't walk and some days I grow sad over the developmental delays in Mason when I see his younger sister quickly catching up.


I wouldn't want it any other way.

My children are learning to love and serve others.

I am learning to love and serve and to rejoice in the little achievements of my children.

Most importantly, I'm learning to desperately depend on God.

And as I depend on Him, I find joy and wonder even in my most challenging moments.  Not because it's easier, but because He is becoming greater and more precious to me.

22 comments:

  1. Beautiful post, Lauren! Praying for you, my friend :)

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    1. Thank you, Cindy. I hope my kiddos can meet you someday!

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  2. OH, that last line! Amen sister! P.S. I forgot to write to you before....are you guys moving to a naval base in New England by any chance?! Because remember I live in Connecticut! E-mail me!! :)

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    1. Unfortunately, no move to New England this time. I would love to have coffee with you someday, Jessica!

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  3. So sweet. Love to hear about your life =)

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    1. Thanks. I enjoy reading about yours as well. You're a very gifted writer!

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  4. Your post encourages me to pray more for all of you young moms out there! May God keep encouraging your heart and blessing your sweet little family!

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  5. Lauren,

    I feel as though I know you, even though we haven't met. I grew up with Bradley in Togo. I'm so pleased to see God blessing many of us MKs with kids. It is a precious thing to have babies. I only have one so far. God does allow us to struggle in a way, but He enables us to have victories along the way. I like to think He enjoys watching us succeed as we trust in Him.

    Kylee Anglemyer (McMillen)

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    1. Congratulations on your little one! Yes, I think it does bring God joy to see us walk in dependence upon Him.

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  6. Thank you, Lauren, for sharing from your heart...for touching our hearts with the reminders of God's grace and our totally desperate dependence on Him. Love you.

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  7. Beautifully said, Lauren ... even more beautifully lived.

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  8. Lauren, what a challenge. I am sure that you make an awesome mom to all four of your children. What a true example of a mom, wife, and Christian for the rest of us.

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    1. Can't wait to hear news of your little one, Lydia!

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  9. Third picture is so cute, it reminds me of my childhood. God bless.

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  10. This is a beautiful post! Each of your children are such a gift and we love them dearly! I loved watching Mason interact with JV when we babysat them last month. He was SO incredibly sweet to her, bringing her toys and going over to check on her and snuggle with her.

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    1. Thank you for loving them so well. They're blessed to have you and Caleb!

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  11. Thanks for sharing how you are doing bc I was wondering about you! :)

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